*mom*

youngmom, originally uploaded by neverfeltbetter.

happy mother's day to all the mothers. every day is a type of mother's day when you have lost your mom, not a day goes by without me wishing i could talk to her on the phone and dish about the goings on in the world, just like we did for so many years. as a young teenager i had a rocky relationship with my mother, i viewed her as too strict and out of touch, stogy and up-tight. i could not wait to get out of my parents house to live my own life and that was fine and good. it happened without a hitch. but as i married, divorced, had children, married again with more kids...became older myself we became closer. i could view her for who she was with respect. her perceptive nature often astounded me, her advice was sound and solid. i miss it dearly. sometimes she bordered on telepathic and psychic all at one, and has more than once predicted an outcome of a situation so far down the road i thought she was crazy. not crazy, just right. you wouldn't believe what that woman called years before that turned out to be true!

we had our ups and downs, times where we didn't speak for months. i know i disappointed her from time to time, but at the end of the day she was my mom and i know she loved me and my kids up very much until the very end. on her deathbed she told me how good a man shawn was and with my track record (and her forewarning about my other marriage of which she didn't approve. she said a person could change their behavior but they can't change who they are--the leopard can't change it's spots kinda thing--she is right. i trust her word!) that means the world to me. she loved my children unconditionally. i wish she was alive to give me advice about what's going on in the family now but i hear her voice, i know what she would be saying. so in essence she IS here with me now. and for her struggles and joys in life i can only salute her and reflect on how much she endured in her life.

happy mother's day mom! and to all the other mothers and strong women out there, too. it's your day as well. enjoy.